Betrayed Partners

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Betrayed Partners

There is absolutely nothing like discovering that a person's spouse or partner has been living a double life. When a person learns of the sexual acting out that has occurred many people experience what we understand to be traumatic symptoms. These include initial shock, disbelief, disgust, nausea, and other physical symptoms, anger, and rage. People often experience shame and live with the secret, separating him or her from sharing this information with others for fear of their reactions, which leads to isolation for the betrayed partner. This is a pain that we are very familiar with treating and there is a way out of the horror. There is no guarantee about what the addicted partner may do, however the betrayed partner can certainly begin a pathway of healing.

We offer individual counseling, group counseling, and intensive programs for betrayed partners. Our team has clinicians that are trained and experienced in several modalities of trauma healing, including Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing (EMDR), Sensorimotor Psychotherapy (SP), Betrayed Partners, as well as experiential work. There is tremendous healing when one person shares his or her experience of pain and betrayal with another person that gets it and knows that pain, and is met with understanding, empathy, and care.

The betrayed person did not do anything to cause this, cannot control it, cannot cure it, cannot change it, however he or she does have choices. Sometimes the person that has been betrayed is angry that he or she now has to do this work when she or he did nothing wrong. That is completely understandable. It can feel like a punishment to the innocent party. While that is true, he or she did not cause this in any way, and is not responsible for the other persons reactions, the betrayed person is injured by the other person's behavior and is now responsible to help him or herself to heal from the damage created. We find that when both partners, the addicted and the betrayed, receive treatment, the family at large benefits, and the coupleship has a greater chance at healing. Whether or not the betrayed partner chooses to stay in this relationship, the effect of this type of trauma will not just go away. We are trained at facilitating healing whether the relationship continues or not. Sometimes people find that this is not his or her first abusive relationship, when that is the case, we look at underlying beliefs that may cause a person to continue to choose a partner that is unhelpful and hurtful. This level of healing can create a generational change in the family.


Symptons Experienced
Traumatic Reactions
Trauma Work
Sexual Repair
Sensorimotor Psychotherapy
Physical Sickness
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